Monday, July 13, 2009
Built Like I
Built well you're a strong letter I, with the feet on the ground and the head to the sky. Now and then you can bend, it's okay to lean over my way. You fear that you can't do it all,and you're right. Even diligent day takes relief every day from its work making light from the night.
I've been wondering when this would happen. I was slightly curious as to how I'd made it this far.
"Why have I not crashed? Why have I not burned out and deflated fast like a balloon popping in a quiet room?"
My expectations for a sudden slip failed; I caught myself with that all to familiar ache you get when you've done too much. I took the day at GLSEN easily; trying not to exert myself mentally, I performed some preliminary research on facebook for an outreach project I'm working towards. Additionally, a major slam to the gut came today when we realized how much of a behemoth California is, and exactly how much time it would take to successfully untangle the mess that is the 971 people I need to know contact information for. Hopefully an alternative will appear.
At 3:00, I made my way for 14th street to meet with George and friend Sergio for Sushi. I reminded myself that I was hungry, and ordered a Dragon Roll. Zoning in and out of conversation, I sat relatively quietly thinking about my brother and Maria. They're so perfect together, and I want them to have a house in the Palisades I can go visit and retreat away from the hustle and bustle of this place: NYC.
Afterward, we hopped over to Union Square where a hideous rendition of some church song echoed above the street vendors and tourist pedestrians. I was more concerned with buying my Harry Potter tickets and getting out of there; my ankles were about to pop beneath me, and I think George had an idea or two about running around the East Village lomo-ing it up!
6:30 and I'm home! Marie and I chatted for the first time in a day or two. She's still in mad adoration for me, and I her, and it's as if I've caught up with a dear friend. She truly is amazing, and if you ever have a chance to meet her, please do yell at her that I said, "Hello!"
Beyond that, I can only tell you the simple joys of relaxing, sitting, and letting time past is beyond healing. It's a soothing experience; taking a moment of quiet in the midst of noise. Centering yourself while allowing your body to balance. "Napping while awake" as I say. The time taken let me reflect on exactly all that is happening, and what I'm learning:
When you're building friendships, learning about the dynamics and complexities of the world, and challenging your boundaries to do both, you can make any place fun, adventurous, and exciting -- even New York City!
** CAT SIT.
** MEND MISTAKES BY THROWING INDIAN FOOD AT IT.
** TAKE SMALL NAPS ON THE SUBWAY.
** LET YOURSELF BE SNAPPY.
** INTERRUPT SALES PEOPLE.
** ALLOW BROWNIES JUST SIT AROUND. NOT BEING EATEN.