Summer 2010 and Me

"Sunrise, sunrise feels like morning in your eyes."

Good Lord! Are you like me and try to steer clear of what you think is deadly and painful and dreadfully dramatic? I'm not saying I avoid conflict, but I am saying I do like to lay it out of my way and try to deal with what really matters in life. In the past six weeks, there's been some happenings that are important, and of course when you attract that sort of business, you attract what could be compared to spam to your life. Conclusion? Life resembles your email inbox (especially if you have Yahoo).

I am sorry to say one of two things. The first is that I was sexually assaulted by someone I thought was a friend of mine about six weeks ago. Here's my experience: I was too scared to say no. I didn't know what would happen if I didn't just go along with it, and here I am. So far, people have told me I should have punched the guys lights out, or I should have screamed, or I should have done this or that. What I've taken the time to learn is that feminized brains tend to draw into themselves and do whatever it takes to protect themselves. That's what I did. The follow up to this is that he's out out out of my life, needless to say, I have a healthier dose of skepticism when making friends, and I'm much more conscious of what I need as far as friends and loved ones go.

The second is that your favorite little gay couple decided to go our separate ways. "AW! OH NO WHY BLUH?!!!1?111??//!" Well, my lovely friends, people grow and change and make new pages in their lives. Also, long distance relationships make you realize how much you love being individuals and unassociated at this age. All smiles, no tears. Overall, I think it was the perfect decision at the perfect time because now I have a very open summer, and I'll be moving to Atlanta without the conditions of having to be something to someone; all I have to do is be me.

CONRAD'S DO'S:

** DO BE FRIENDS WITH BRANDON HOPPER.

** DO TELL YOUR MOTHER EVERYTHING.

** DO TELL YOURSELF TO GROW AND LEARN.

** DO GET TESTED FOR HIV AND TAKE SIGHS OF RELIEF.

CONRAD'S DON'TS:

** DON'T INVITE PEOPLE OVER LATE AT NIGHT IF YOU DON'T ABSOLUTELY KNOW THAT THEY WON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU.

** DON'T CALL PEOPLE DISGUSTING OR SLUTTY IF THEY GET RAPED.

** DON'T NOT NOT EAT FOR FOUR DAYS. IF YOU'RE SAD, GOURGE YOURSELF EVEN IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU MAY THROW UP. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE ALREADY LITTLE.

** DON'T INTERNALIZE THINGS.